8.05 AM. Dark sky. The roof's of the houses across the road are shining this morning above a road slick and greasy like a treacherous snake uncurling into the future. I hate fine rain. It is so deceiving one takes a chance believing that one one won't get soaked but its moisture creeps into every where invading the soul and dampening the ardour of the day.
I feel so down and the skin on my back is tormenting me with itchiness.
Persons I know feel that I should give up my angel work, as naked angels are not approved of by some who have seen them. They want to take away from me all that I have to occupy my day apart from house work and attending to the garden and I feel very sad.
What am I supposed to do all day without my angel paintings, they have given me a reason to get up in the mornings. I love cutting out their tiny fingers and features and painting their flesh and personality's they are my creations. I have never been pregnant and they are my harmless children.
Edward spends all day working on his painting and ceramic compositions it is an obsession that he loves. Having been involved with all kinds of art making since he was a five year old child he loves it and it keeps him sane now that he is a man of over seventy years. So why do people I happen to know want to take my obsession from me! Am I only supposed to to so house-work, gardening and walk around the shops day after day like a zombie all because viewers don't like angels to be naked. You can't be a christian and depict a naked body.
Tiny three inch high pieces of painted card the actual finished size of my angels how narrow. I believe my angels have a joyfulness they are fun and funny. If I were a more skilled draftswoman I could expect them to be taken seriously. Edward always laugh at them, sometimes they even make me rock with laughter as they are grotesque in their uniqueness. They are imperfectly beautiful and I love them because they are me each and every one of them joyful and funny, unrepressed and free little dancer's . I am not like anyone else and I don't want to be...
They have an eternal innocents, because I am not corrupted by the dross of life. The filth of every day does not cling to my aura as it does to so many people who are filled with darkness. They are dirty people in their hearts. I am not a dirty person in my heart.
I feel very low there is an ache in my soul. If and when Jesus wants me to stop creating my angel art work He will tell me by giving me some thing else much better to do to take their place I expect.
I feel really down and lifeless. Why destroy something harmless, I feel full of grief. Edward is keeping on at me this morning. He is so careless he keeps losing items and blaming me where he should take more care of his property.
I feel a victim of thoughtlessness.
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