TOMATO SOUP IS A HELP TO THE SOUL.

29 TUESDAY OCTOBER.

10.15 PM.  Quiet day, up very late at 12-noon.

Edward not well at all.  Mostly sunny day, small amount of rain, blustery wind, temperature drop.

Worked on Cluster Angels Edward helped me.  Head ache.  I am still recovering from  the argument a very violent one slowly.

Graham ill.

 Headache, cramp in my left ankle.  Concluded romantic novel by Mary Stewart, "Thunder on the Right."  My hair is so long and baby fine that it tickles and irritates my neck and back when I am in bed naked.  I love the feel of fluffy jumpers against my skin. I feel warm and loved tucked up in my  dressing gown with thermal leisure trousers and jumper.

y dressing gown also thermal leisure trousers and jumper.

HALF TERM WEEK FOR SCHOOLS. THE SKY IS A DEEP BLUE AFTER HEAVY RAIN STORMS. AMAZINGLY BRIGHT SUNLIGHT MY BED ROOM IS ALIVE WITH LIGHT.

8.55 AM. 28 October Monday.

Blue sky, noisy blustery wind in strong gusts, very bright sun light, commuter traffic very space.  The sun light is amazing this morning my bed room is alive with it. 

 Dreamt...I was a person living inside an immoveable body...I was in prisoned inside a statue, living  in flesh that was alive but unable to move a muscle as a punishment for sin...

Great up set in the home with Edward over house work and cleaning, vacuum cleaner broken.  Violent argument, great distress.

THE WIND IS VERY NOISY BUMPING AND SQUEALING INSIDE THE CHIMNEY BREST CAVITY ALL NIGHT.

Sunday 27 OCTOBER

Edward deliberately says things to hurt my feelings every day.

10.30 St Paul's ministry team with Lois.

7.55.AM.  Blue sky, sun shine. violent wind it is rattling inside the chimney .  I have not heart the sad call of the sea gulls in the morning for some time they don't land on the rooftops in the latter part of the year.  Slept in my studio, no petals have dropped from my red roses  yet even though they are fading.

11.50.PM. I feel very down, quite low.  Very strong wind banging loudly on the glass in the window frames, I feel sick I feel so down. I don't want to be here any more.  Edward reluctantly booked a three day break at the Ambassador hotel and has been giving me hell ever since.

SO BEAUTIFUL.

EDWARD DREAMT HE WAS WALKING IN HEAT THEN ENTERED A HOUSE FULL OF INDIAN WOMEN WHERE THERE WAS AN OVER POWERING FRAGRANCE OF INCENSE. HE CAN'T RECALL A DREAM WHERE EVER BEFORE HE ENCOUNTERED SUCH A STRONG PERFUME IN HIS LIFE. I CAN NOT EVER RECALL A DREAM WHERE I WAS AWARE OF AN AROMA.

SATURDAY 26 OCTOBER.
Church meeting, coffee at 9.30.AM.  Good teaching in the morning.  Great food.  Cold windy day.  Edward attended for the lunch time interval and to eat.  Afternoon teaching not interesting quite boring in fact also every one was quite tired with the heavy concentration of morning session.
Bed at 11.20.PM.  Wind getting up to full gale.  Put out clocks back.
I still can't believe Edward attended the church meeting for lunch as he has to be dragged into church by me verbally as a rule, lots of people greeted him warmly.

Lucy's BABY NAMED LOUIE JAMES BISHOP BORN. MY LEFT EAR IS CAUSING ME ANXIETY.

25 October Friday.
Louie James Bishop...Thank You Jesus for his safe arrival.

8.32 PM.  Woke  with tummy and ankle pains.  Grey sky, every thing feels damp and heavy  in keeping with the colours I can see reflecting fro the wet and greasy road.  Throbbing in my left ear also very deaf in it.   Very dry mouth.  My tummy feels raw and is heavy with the most uncomfortable burps.

There is a hint of brightness in the sky I can here Edward coughing loudly in the next room.

Worked on Cluster Angels.  Went out  with Edward for an autumn walk to Swiss Valley behind Longueville manor hotel .  A cool pleasant outing crunching fallen leaves under our feet.  A strong smell of pine from the evergreen trees.  The fields of sweetcorn were very tall and green.  We saw two horse's grazing in the field where Graham used to lodge his two animals.  We strolled slowly as both of us became out of breath having to rest  sitting on low walls along our path allowing a pleasant  afternoon to slip by.

Caffeine free teas and plane boiled water.NO COFFEE. I AM TRYING. ALSO I LONG FOR A CIGARETT. TRYING TO CLEAN UP MY BODY FROM THE INSIDE IS HARD WORK.

OCTOBER 24, THURSDAY.

Edward has just driven off to his ceramics class the last one before half term. 

 I am not keen on being at home alone.  I imagine the late residents watching me.

Lucy's baby due to be born today.   

9.50. AM.  Grey sky.  Sleeping in my studio could become a habit as the room and bed have a completely different atmosphere.  The guest mattress is narrow and one is able to lay flatter and I am able to see directly out of the window the view is not as interesting as our main bed room. Only part of   the  walls and the tops of cars in the garage back lot are visible.  If the bed were higher I would be able to see into our vast garden.

I have a very dry mouth this morning and pain in my lower back also my left ear is blocked.

Toasted rye bread has a sweet musty aroma and my herbal tea smells of lavender. 

 The roses Edward gave to me for my birthday a deep red in colour look black against the back light of cold grey morning sky.  They are struggling to hold up their beautiful heads and their once  glossy petals are beginning to separate from the centre opening wide before they fall...

Baby born, phone call from Anne. 

 Driving with Graham. During a walk in Swiss Valley later I saw tiny wild Violet in full bloom very strange for mid October.  Graham is not well, he has chest pains, he is very worried about his health as he is in such pain all the time. 

 Worked on Angel Cluster.  Bed late.  Hot flushes all day.  Edward slept in my studio.