26 Monday.

It was a hot dry day.  I did not look or go outside, I worked all day cutting out figures from old family photos.  My tummy feels so painful the turmoil of butterfly fluttering around within is a killer it saps ones energy.  I felt faint during the afternoon while sitting at my work desk until the pain in my neck muscle forced me to retire stopping  altogether and  leave my  studio.  I have to look down and through a magnifier hung on a string around my neck  in order to see and  cut out the figures and forms in the photos as precisely as I am able .  My eyesight  is not good I HAVE AGE RELATED LONG SIGHTEDNESS SO HAVE TO ALWAYS WEAR GLASSES FOR ANY CLOSE WORK.  Looking  downwards for hours on end all day long is causing strain in my neck muscles the pain  of which has been bothering me daily for some time.  I feel so very anxious that I am salivating excessively.  Edward is eating all day he hides in the kitchen and eats.  I feel that my life is completely out of my control and I have had several panic attacks this weekend.  Swallowing mouths full of saliva continually is a classic symptom of anxiety not new to me as I grew up with it from childhood.

My mother Joan Wason and sister Anne Pilfold attend my fine art degree show at Camberwell College of Art.