TO DAY WILL BE A GOOD DAY. BLESS THE LORD.

8 JANUARY WEDNESDAY.
IN RETROSPECT.
I still feel bowed down with fear in case in a temper Edward marches up to Graham's door and demands he move his van.
 I have suffered so much since 27 December's assault on the subject at breakfast in the hotel dining room by Edward that fear has dominated my every thought.
 I don't want to be ruled by fear it is not fair.  I don't want Edward to swear about my brother to me all the time.  He swears all day as it is.

We waited for 12:26 bus that failed to appear Edward becoming angry. I walked into town after attempting to stop him driving in the dull grey glare of day light for his own safety in total despairer. 

 I felt so low in side, feeling crushed on both sides.  I met two friends in the Lord who prayed for me.  Then informed the shop management that I needed a months break meeting Edward as arranged for coffee later going on to the choir practise therapy group.  Run by friends of Jesus for the distraction of people in need, addicts, lonely and homeless and many more. 

 Returning home much later the same situation was raked over  again resulting in a row with Edward.  I tried to make him listen to my feelings but he does not have a natural understanding of women.  He is just angry with every one all the time.  He is a lost policeman trying to wield authority he no longer has.

  We could be so happy but he wont let me run the home or be the woman I could be.  It is a tug of war at all times over every thing.

Now that my diary is A 4 size pages. One page a day. I record more thoughts and it takes me longer to type.

BLUE BELL FIELD BY EDWARD STEPHENS.